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JoeTheCynic

I just want something wholesome
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    If you’re reading this, then you probably are one of few people to give a damn about me. I'm just kidding... hopefully. Well, at least on the Internet. In real life, I come from a loving family who are extremely supportive of my Life decisions, no matter how much of my BS they have to put up with. Also, Happy Easter! A time for Spring Happiness, Flowers, Chocolate, and finding Random Eggs in your Backyard that weren't hidden by your Parents. Unless you're in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, like me. Here it's currently 0°Celsius (32°Fahrenheit to the Filthy Americans and a few of Wonderful Caribbean countries), so no going outside for us. Just joking, we're Freaking Canadian, we can take that! Some of us can at least. At least it's not snowing like last week.

     

    When I was a younger I used to believe in the Easter Bunny until some smart ass went out of their way to ruin it for me. Dick move, bro. Dick move. At least it's not as bad as how my younger sister and younger brother found out. My parents brought us all to the store to buy the Easter egg candy. All I could say was "That's Rough Buddy". My Family's Catholic, so I have Catholic beliefs about Easter. That doesn't excuse the Fact that I have to wake up early on a weekend when we can go to the Noon Mass. I could have finished my fantastic dream about being a Successful Writer, but No! I had to get up and go to a Catholic Meet up where all we do is Sit, Stand, Kneel, Sing, Pray, Rise, Wash, and Repeat! Don't get me wrong, I love the Catholic Tradition, but change it up a little bit!

     

    I need some water. *leaves for a couple of minutes and brings back a bottle of Water and drinks* Bottled Water tastes like Sh*t! It's like I went into the Toilet and drank from there like a Dog! I'm gonna try that right now! *Walks away before coming back a few seconds later* My Brother's on the toilet and now I'm not touching that thing with a 10 foot pole. It's gonna be brown. Like Chocolate! Why is Chocolate brown! Of all the colours (He spelt like everyone other than the American Cows, twice), why did whoever or whatever made the world decide to make a delicious treat like chocolate the same colour as what comes out of your butt! If I'm gonna eat some chocolate, I don't want it to look like poop! Just look at what happened to F*cking Stifler in American Wedding! 

    I never understood how people came up with some of today’s Easter Traditions.
Why is Eggs anyway? I heard something about knew life but then again why bunnies? *Goes on Computer* It seems that Bunnies reproduce at an abnormally high rate compared to most mammals. Welp, hate to look up that with the Safe Search off. And why do we have to find them? Does the Easter bunny just think it’s funny when we go into a thorn bush or into some poison ivy just to get some Rainbow-Painted Sh*t Coloured Candy? Wait a minute, isn't the Easter Bunny is suppose to lay the Easter Eggs............

     

    THAT'S WHY!!! THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING!!! THE GODDAMN EASTER BUNNY SH*TS OUT THE EASTER EGGS. THAT'S WHY CHOCOLATE IS F*CKING BROWN.

    Now this is just nonsense. Chocolate is Brown. Easter is a wonderful time of the year and a sacred holiday for Christians. And for non-Christians, a Holiday of fun, energy, and candy. That’s what Easter was meant to be about.

I'm Joe, and Holy Sh*t, where's the Aspirin.

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Rambling about Easter by JoeTheCynic, journal